I’ve spent the month of May settling into my new family home, clearing out clutter, working with amazing women and making preparations for my new arrival in August! I can’t believe in just 10 weeks our family will be bigger!
It’s been a busy month….It the midst of all this movement and returning from 6 weeks abroad I got a virus, which I will share more about with you in this month’s feature article…
I get really vulnerable…
It’s a must read if you have ever doubted your path, or are feeling like you are the only person not ‘getting it’, when others around you seem to be having success.
(It’s also a must if you have perfectionist tendencies or ever feel like a fraud…and are ‘waiting’ to be ready to really go for it!)
I’ve spent the month of May with a health challenge that completely threw me.
I got a bug, A big bug.
Not just any bug…
The kind that knocks you sideways, blocks your head up so you feel you are swimming underwater, makes you want to sleep all day and want someone (Ok, your mum) to make you hot drinks, stroke your hair and tell you it’s all going to be alright.
This may sound odd, but getting sick was a revelation to me.
‘What We Resist, Will Persist’
As someone with a very good level of health and a strong physical body, I’ve not been sick for more than a few days for years. The weird thing was, I kept thinking I was getting better, that I was ‘almost over it’.
Honestly, I was scared to ‘give in’ to this thing.
I was scared that it meant that on some level I had ‘lost my mojo’-
I had so many unhelpful thoughts- really low vibe stuff…
I was scared that the darkness was going to engulf me…And rather than lean into my edges and dive into those depths I felt myself say ‘NOOOOO’. And RESIST like mad.
I juiced, smoothied, slept and rested – Days and weeks passed. Every morning I woke up, and instead of my usual ‘joie de vivre’ I just felt ‘ugh’. I couldn’t shake it off.
My little son came into my room to take my hand to show me something and say in his heart-melting voice “Mama” …And I just shook my head and said ‘Mama’s poorly’.
I took raw garlic, went for walks, ate a Vindaloo (!), took steam baths, immunity pills, vitamins & supplements, had energy clearings, journalled, prayed, super-hydrated, did EVERYTHING I knew to do…But the ‘lurgy’ stuck around. Constant nose blowing and feeling below par became ‘normal’.
I eventually started feeling better…And I’m still fully renewing from whatever this virus was, but boy, has it been a strong teacher for me (and boy am I more grateful for my health now!)
Attack of The Judger
It hit me so hard how much of a ‘failure’ I felt.
I judged myself for not being able to be the kind of mum I want to be, I judged myself for not keeping on top of my daily health and beauty habits, I judged myself for not being as ‘on it’ with my work, and I judged myself for not feeling like I wanted to do anything, or was able to function in the simplest ways.
When I went deeper into these feelings I really saw how intricately our sense of worth and value is connected with what we are able to ‘do’.
And I saw how destructive this false premise can be.
When we have a ‘crisis’ or show signs of disease in any area- Our relationships, finances, health etc- it’s easy to become ashamed and feel ‘less than’ who we are when things are running smoothly.
We start creating ‘meanings’ that do not serve us. Like- we have done something ‘wrong’ or are not good enough- and this can unconsciously lead us to believe that we are frauds/unsuccessful/deluded/never going to be able to serve at the level we wish/ off track or not in alignment.
We’re so committed to being our best selves, that when we have a blip we get into judgement and see the darkness as something to avoid. We run like weenies away from what is ultimately our teacher.
The darkness has much to teach
This bug taught me to see in the dark that I was so afraid of at first.
It taught me to dive deeper into my shadow and ‘be’ with all aspects of myself.
It taught me that I have value no matter what.
That my sense of self, and my sense of worth does not need to come from outside of me.
I’ve danced in the dark, broken some ‘rules’ I didn’t even know I had and been open to support and new perspectives in a way that has revealed deeper insights to me about my life and my path, and who I need to be to walk it.
And, eventually, (after my struggle, resistance and drama had noisily made their presence known), I feel empowered by what I’ve seen in the darkness.
Although I’d still prefer feeling good to feeling awful any day, I learnt so much from this time.
Although I’m someone who wants to lead, support, nourish and uplift women I am well aware that my authentic experience and expression is of way more value than any amount of ‘canned inspiration’ will ever be.
I’m not here to pretend that my life is without challenge, upheaval, or times of doubt.
I want you to know that I’m human too.
I’ve gained so much from this time of feeling ‘off my dime’. I’ve gone inward and downward to love and accept myself on a deeper level than I have in the past.
I really see now that as a wife, a mother and a business woman I’m not here to fly any flags for perfection or unattainable standards- but to be cool with Who I Am, Who I’m Not, and the imperfect nature of myself and all my ‘Worlds’ and roles-
Without fearing that I am letting down some imaginary and unloving God or ‘judger’ in the process….
Remember – There is no such thing as The Perfect Woman, Man, Mother, Father, Relationship, Family, or Business…
I hope that in taking a few minutes of your day to read my words you too will soften into your whole self, and love every aspect of it- The Good, the Bad, the Naughty , The Ugly and The Divine-
And that in your softening you’ll create a space to allow that beautiful self to truly receive all that this benevolent Universe wants to give to you.
If you have even a glimmer of a dream that you want to bring into this world then you deserve to give yourself the gift of time with Kat.
Like me, you may just find yourself on the amazing trajectory. Within 9 months of my first day with Kat I have created at business exceeding £100k revenue, I have online and live programmes, am running events around the world and a waiting list for 1-2-1 VIP clients. My book is about to be published and tomorrow I’m having a meeting with a large corporate that wants to sponsor a women’s investor event with me as the key note speaker!
Don’t give up on your dreams, rather, work with Kat and get them on turbo drive
Love Ann – TheWealthChef
I’ve got 3 VIP day spaces available in July… And they are 40% off! If you’ve been wanting to work with me for a while, or you just found out about my work and know you need a quantum leap forward, plus clarity, shortcuts and an abundant business that is completely aligned to the real YOU then apply now for more information. Simply email firstname.lastname@example.org and share where you are right now, and me or one of my team will be in touch.
**You’ll probably know already if this is for you or not … so act on your intuition and be in touch to grab one of these spots before I go on maternity leave!**