I’ve spent the month of May settling into my new family home, clearing out clutter, working with amazing women and making preparations for my new arrival in August! I can’t believe in just 10 weeks our family will be bigger!
It’s been a busy month….It the midst of all this movement and returning from 6 weeks abroad I got a virus, which I will share more about with you in this month’s feature article…
I get really vulnerable…
It’s a must read if you have ever doubted your path, or are feeling like you are the only person not ‘getting it’, when others around you seem to be having success.
(It’s also a must if you have perfectionist tendencies or ever feel like a fraud…and are ‘waiting’ to be ready to really go for it!)
Pic of my new office
I’ve spent the month of May with a health challenge that completely threw me.
I got a bug, A big bug.
Not just any bug…
The kind that knocks you sideways, blocks your head up so you feel you are swimming underwater, makes you want to sleep all day and want someone (Ok, your mum) to make you hot drinks, stroke your hair and tell you it’s all going to be alright.
This may sound odd, but getting sick was a revelation to me.
‘What We Resist, Will Persist’
As someone with a very good level of health and a strong physical body, I’ve not been sick for more than a few days for years. The weird thing was, I kept thinking I was getting better, that I was ‘almost over it’.
Honestly, I was scared to ‘give in’ to this thing.
I was scared that it meant that on some level I had ‘lost my mojo’-
I had so many unhelpful thoughts- really low vibe stuff…
I was scared that the darkness was going to engulf me…And rather than lean into my edges and dive into those depths I felt myself say ‘NOOOOO’. And RESIST like mad.
I juiced, smoothied, slept and rested – Days and weeks passed. Every morning I woke up, and instead of my usual ‘joie de vivre’ I just felt ‘ugh’. I couldn’t shake it off.
My little son came into my room to take my hand to show me something and say in his heart-melting voice “Mama” …And I just shook my head and said ‘Mama’s poorly’.
I took raw garlic, went for walks, ate a Vindaloo (!), took steam baths, immunity pills, vitamins & supplements, had energy clearings, journalled, prayed, super-hydrated, did EVERYTHING I knew to do…But the ‘lurgy’ stuck around. Constant nose blowing and feeling below par became ‘normal’.
I eventually started feeling better…And I’m still fully renewing from whatever this virus was, but boy, has it been a strong teacher for me (and boy am I more grateful for my health now!)
Attack of The Judger
It hit me so hard how much of a ‘failure’ I felt.
I judged myself for not being able to be the kind of mum I want to be, I judged myself for not keeping on top of my daily health and beauty habits, I judged myself for not being as ‘on it’ with my work, and I judged myself for not feeling like I wanted to do anything, or was able to function in the simplest ways.
When I went deeper into these feelings I really saw how intricately our sense of worth and value is connected with what we are able to ‘do’.
And I saw how destructive this false premise can be.
When we have a ‘crisis’ or show signs of disease in any area- Our relationships, finances, health etc- it’s easy to become ashamed and feel ‘less than’ who we are when things are running smoothly.
We start creating ‘meanings’ that do not serve us. Like- we have done something ‘wrong’ or are not good enough- and this can unconsciously lead us to believe that we are frauds/unsuccessful/deluded/never going to be able to serve at the level we wish/ off track or not in alignment.
We’re so committed to being our best selves, that when we have a blip we get into judgement and see the darkness as something to avoid. We run like weenies away from what is ultimately our teacher.
The darkness has much to teach
This bug taught me to see in the dark that I was so afraid of at first.
It taught me to dive deeper into my shadow and ‘be’ with all aspects of myself.
It taught me that I have value no matter what.
That my sense of self, and my sense of worth does not need to come from outside of me.
I’ve danced in the dark, broken some ‘rules’ I didn’t even know I had and been open to support and new perspectives in a way that has revealed deeper insights to me about my life and my path, and who I need to be to walk it.
And, eventually, (after my struggle, resistance and drama had noisily made their presence known), I feel empowered by what I’ve seen in the darkness.
Although I’d still prefer feeling good to feeling awful any day, I learnt so much from this time.
Although I’m someone who wants to lead, support, nourish and uplift women I am well aware that my authentic experience and expression is of way more value than any amount of ‘canned inspiration’ will ever be.
I’m not here to pretend that my life is without challenge, upheaval, or times of doubt.
I want you to know that I’m human too.
I’ve gained so much from this time of feeling ‘off my dime’. I’ve gone inward and downward to love and accept myself on a deeper level than I have in the past.
I really see now that as a wife, a mother and a business woman I’m not here to fly any flags for perfection or unattainable standards- but to be cool with Who I Am, Who I’m Not, and the imperfect nature of myself and all my ‘Worlds’ and roles-
Without fearing that I am letting down some imaginary and unloving God or ‘judger’ in the process….
Remember – There is no such thing as The Perfect Woman, Man, Mother, Father, Relationship, Family, or Business…
I hope that in taking a few minutes of your day to read my words you too will soften into your whole self, and love every aspect of it- The Good, the Bad, the Naughty , The Ugly and The Divine-
And that in your softening you’ll create a space to allow that beautiful self to truly receive all that this benevolent Universe wants to give to you.
Within 9 months of my first day with Kat I have created at business exceeding £100k revenue, I have online and live programmes, am running events around the world and a waiting list for 1-2-1 VIP clients. My book is about to be published and tomorrow I’m having a meeting with a large corporate that wants to sponsor a women’s investor event with me as the key note speaker!
If you have never worked with Katharine Dever
then you have no idea what you are missing. I am busy putting the final touches together on my LIVE sold out event in South Africa just 1 month after running the same event with amazing success in the UK and I felt compelled to write this post as I know without having had Kat in my life and working with her 1-2-1 it wouldn’t have happened.I was quite literally floundering around in the dark, I had a dream and knew what I really wanted to create and do but I had no idea how to get it going and even more crippling I didn’t really believe I could. I was on the verge of giving up and saying “it’s just a silly idea” when I decided to reach out and have a VIP day with Kat just in case. A real last straw before I buried my dream. There isn’t a day that goes by now when I am not grateful for making that decision as Kat is a miracle worker – she has the most amazing insight and a gift to bring out the best in you and let you see it to.
If you have even a glimmer of a dream that you want to bring into this world then you deserve to give yourself the gift of time with Kat.
Like me, you may just find yourself on the amazing trajectory. Within 9 months of my first day with Kat I have created at business exceeding £100k revenue, I have online and live programmes, am running events around the world and a waiting list for 1-2-1 VIP clients. My book is about to be published and tomorrow I’m having a meeting with a large corporate that wants to sponsor a women’s investor event with me as the key note speaker!
Don’t give up on your dreams, rather, work with Kat and get them on turbo drive
Love Ann – TheWealthChef
I’ve got 3 VIP day spaces available in July… And they are 40% off! If you’ve been wanting to work with me for a while, or you just found out about my work and know you need a quantum leap forward, plus clarity, shortcuts and an abundant business that is completely aligned to the real YOU then apply now for more information. Simply email firstname.lastname@example.org and share where you are right now, and me or one of my team will be in touch.
**You’ll probably know already if this is for you or not … so act on your intuition and be in touch to grab one of these spots before I go on maternity leave!**
Can a woman really have all of her desires fulfilled?
Can she be a great mum, partner, friend, and still have a career she loves that she is passionate about, and take care of her inner and outer Self- financially, spiritually, and physically?
I’d have to say that this is the question I have been personally asking myself these last several weeks.
In March I discovered I was pregnant.
It was unplanned, unexpected and my partner and I had to ask if we were ready for bringing new life into the World.
As entrepreneurs he and I are very blessed to have a flexible work-from home schedule and have resources to comfortably raise a child, but we had other considerations to make: Did we have enough of a foundation as a couple for example, having been together less than a year, to raise a child together? And so much needed to change, regarding everything from our living situation to how we spent our money to how I was dressing!
I cried lots, and we talked for hours and we addressed all our fears.
All the time I could feel a smile in my heart, but I had to work through all the different fears and emotions with my partner before making such a life changing decision. Joyfully, despite all the things our minds needed to cover, we both felt in our hearts that we wanted to do this and were very grateful to be blessed with a child together.
Despite this, I had some major concerns about how having a baby would change my life.
How would I fit it all in- if I could at all?
I live an extraordinary life and I have such a lot of passion about what I do. I love to travel and live full out, and I enjoy taking risks and relying on my intuition to steer me through unknown ground.
When I found I was pregnant my immediate reaction was that ‘it was all over’, and my work and passions would fade into the background, whilst I became domesticated, housebound, frumpy and all the other stories I told myself that a mother ‘ought’ to be or had to be. I just went into a downward spiral, overwhelmed by the responsibility and feeling selfish, greedy and guilty that I still wanted to live my own life, and have a baby too.
For a while I sunk into a place of despair.
For the entire month, with my body changing, hormones raging, and so many uncertainties I began to unravel.
Everything that I had thought was important and all my priorities began shifting.
I also felt so tired and had so much sickness that I had to spend days in bed and cancel trips to the Amazon and Africa this year. I froze in my business, afraid to launch anything in case I would feel like this all 9 months of my pregnancy, I withdrew and went inward, seeking the answers I needed and praying for guidance.
I am one of those people who is awful at waiting…
But I trusted God in my heart and surrendered to what was occurring.
I decided I would use this opportunity to re-evaluate what was important and essential in my life, what I wanted my child to witness in my life as an example of what can be possible and to only do what I love with all my heart.
I realised that in my heart there was no limits- in fact the more that I centred myself there the more I saw that I had so much to give and to share and to receive. I wanted to allow myself to feel what I felt, all the worries, anxieties and not to shame myself for slowing right down – but to see this as part of my path and purpose.
There was a sense that I’d been given an opportunity to discover how I can balance life as an entrepreneur and mentor and philanthropist with being a mum and having a family.
A new opportunity to deepen into my work and my being, whilst sharing my struggles, successes, insights and learnings along the way.
And though there is always so much to learn, in my 4th month of pregnancy I feel ready and excited for this new life being birthed through me to the planet. I feel so grateful for the gift of life and a new sense of purpose.
As a I honour this little life growing inside me, I realise I don’t need to go to the Amazon this year to feel that pulse of life that I know I am here to help protect.
I don’t need to completely stop the work I am passionate about, as by allowing my whole self I can encourage all aspects of my femininity and with God’s grace live the life I am meant for even more lovingly, fully and deeply.
I took faith and courage from the women that I see in the public eye that do seem to have a successful career, relationship and still be wonderful mothers:
Women like JK Rowling who shared her gifts and created her billion pound fortune and 7 of the most famous books in the literary universe whilst not only suffering from depression but with her baby daughter, Jessica in tow.
Women like singer- songwriter, businesswoman, designer, & actress Gwen Stefani who takes her kids on tour whilst delivering her music and sharing her gifts to sold out stadiums all over the World. (and even performed whilst pregnant and in the first trimester- battling morning sickness at my last speaking gig was not much fun so I know why she said she felt ‘disgusting’!)
Women like Angelina Jolie, who ha a whole bunch of kids, is an award winning actress and global philanthropist and who like me has set big goals about what she wants to accomplish in the World, and doesn’t let what people think about her stop her fulfilling her dreams.
There are heaps more mums that personally inspire me, it’s fun to list a few, which mums inspire you?
The 2 billion mums on our planet are all megastars in their own families, and this new twist in the tale of my life has allowed me to feel a new awareness and respect for the journey of motherhood, and the incredible clients I have been honoured to serve who have balanced being a mum with being in business.
I’d say we really can have it all, but ‘having it all’ looks different for each of us. For bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert ‘having it all’ meant not having kids at all but choosing to live, travel, write and fall in love with her soul mate. Get clear on what ‘having it all’ really means for you. Ask yourself “What would my life look like if I had it all?”
No life is without complications, challenges and disappointments. Anyone of us can get our hearts broken, get ill or lose our jobs, houses or money, but when we have faith and a dream, with Love alive in our hearts and minds, we get to have our own version of having it all- because we are One with it all!
“You are linked to all life, and by magic, every gift you give becomes a gift to yourself.”